Thursday, December 11, 2008

.And in prep school news....torment at Miss Porter's

Wow! Things seem to be getting worse rather than better amongst the behavior of the elite! As someone who interviews minority students in order to asses their readiness for boarding schools like Miss Porter's & my own alma mater, Pomfret School, I had to address this with my own personal story, as well as encourage all of you with kids & those of you who are educators to really take heed to this by getting more involved in how the quality of life of your kids effect their education, no matter where they are. The disrespectful bratty behavior & privileged drug use by my fellow students at my boarding school was something I knew would never be acceptable in my household- to think my mom sent me there to keep me from going to public school, getting involved with the wrong crowd & being faced with any drug use! Ivy colored walls often bury more skeletons than fenced in concrete!

This news story takes me back to having to kick this girl's ass at Pomfret because she was obsessed with my boyfriend at the time & decided she was going to take it out on me by trying to spit down on me from the stairs in our dorm. Let me pre-face this by saying before she got up the stairs she had intentionally bumped into me & I let it go because I knew she really wasn't ready to go there with me, nor did I care to engage her in that behavior just because I had what she wanted along with the fact that they would expect the Black girl to get in a fight & get kicked out for it. I was so enraged that I ran up those stairs like speedy Gonzales & beat the devil out of her. Spitting on another human being & thinking it is acceptable is defintely devilish behavior to me!

It was such a big deal at the school because they had never seen such a fight amongst female students at the school. Their way of trying to understand it was by trying to make me out to be some ghetto girl from New York who was use to fighting, had some sort of anger or mental issues, or only knew how to resolve issues by fighting. I went off on the entire faculty & student body about the blatant & undercover racism, classism, & stereotypes & made it very clear to them that I was not about to apologize for my actions even if it meant getting expelled from "the prestigious school that was to be my ticket to a brighter better future", along with letting them know that if anyone dared to ever try to do something as degrading & insulting as spitting on me that I would not hesitate to do it again. Needless to say I was not expelled or even punished for my actions- I am not sure if it was because they were afraid of a lawsuit, afraid of the angry crazy black girl, or really understood that I was in the right.

It had nothing to do with being from the hood or fighting over a boy -it had everything to do with self-respect, being an African -American who was making sure I would never let brazen degrading history repeat itself at an institution that was built on exclusion of people who looked liked me & were of the same socio-economic class as me , even though I was now supposed to feel a tremendous sense of privilege as one of a handful to be accepted into such a prestigious institution- even if it was at the cost of my own self-respect!

I in no way condone physically fighting someone as a resolution to any issue, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do! This young lady had obviously never had her butt whooped or taught the lesson that you should never spit on anyone, so I felt at the time that is was my duty to teach her that lesson. As a mature adult, I understand that I have a lot more to lose now & a lot less time to get it all back if I chose the same route in future incidents.I actually had a generally good experience at Pomfret & would highly recommend it & hopefully have the opportunity to send my own future kids there one day.

I was privileged to see, meet, & speak with the late great Shirley Chisholm when she came to Pomfret as an invited guest speaker. I was also privileged to be shuttled in a van with my fellow minority students, or as they call us at these institutions, "non-traditional students", to listen , see & meet Maya Angelou at a nearby University for Black History month- all of which changed my life by giving me strength , direction & empowerment. Pomfret did try their best to be inclusive & accommodating to "the non traditional students".

When an institution is entrusted with young high school students 24/7 without parental supervision- it is up to that institution to make sure they are protecting the quality of life & growth of the students as a parent would & should. It's sad that Miss Porter's would rather protect their reputation than deal with the ills that directly effect students from getting the education & life experience that they are supposed to be providing.

I will never forget reciting Maya Angelou's poem to the entire student body & faculty at Pomfret as my direct statement to them after my personal incident. I had never felt more empowered & I knew that it was the start of a new beginning of understanding & respect between us all.
Aretha Amma Sarfo-Pomfret School 91'

Still I Rise


You may write me down in historyWith your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.
Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?'
Cause I walk like I've got oil wellsPumping in my living room.
Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,Still I'll rise.
Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.
Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold minesDiggin' in my own back yard.
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.
Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds At the meeting of my thighs?
Out of the huts of history's shame I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clearI rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.
Maya Angelou



Suit details girl's torment at exclusive school
Cruel clique at all-girls campus allegedly harassed student for months


HARTFORD, Connecticut - The bullying came at school dances and in class, on Facebook and back at the dorm by girls who called themselves "Oprichniki," a Russian attack squad notorious for torturing suspected enemies of a 16th-century czar.
The cruel clique at the exclusive Miss Porter's School allegedly harassed Tatum Bass for months, until two doctors advised her to take a break. That's when her tormentors put a "For Rent" sign on her bed and one of America's most selective, all-girls boarding schools threatened to expel her.
Bass and her parents responded with a federal lawsuit that offers a disturbing glimpse into life on the leafy campus in the affluent Hartford suburbs. To match tuition that can cost nearly $43,000, the school has an A-list of socialites, diplomats, artists and public servants among its graduates, including Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis and Gloria Vanderbilt.

According to the lawsuit, Bass was on the honor roll, played sports and was elected by her peers to a top position in student government before her trouble began earlier this year. As activities director, she proposed holding the senior prom with other schools nearby.
Opposition to the idea ballooned, leading to bullying and taunts that Bass was "retarded" because she has attention-deficit disorder. Bass said in the suit that the girls turned on her, calling her "stupid" and peppering her with profanity and insults. She said she was bullied in front of hundreds of people at a school dance, in classes, around campus, in text messages and online on the Facebook social networking site.
"This was the first time that negative attention was drawn to her disability at (the school)," the lawsuit said. "Oprichniki members were at the forefront of taunting Tatum in class and advising others about her disability."
Suit names school, headmasterThe lawsuit names the 165-year-old school and its headmaster, Katherine Windsor, as defendants. Windsor said in a written statement Wednesday that the lawsuit's claims "as portrayed in the media will be defended vigorously, and we believe that a comprehensive hearing of the facts will result in the exoneration of our school."
Messages left for Tatum's attorneys and family were not returned. None of Bass's tormentors are named in court papers.
In the depths of the ordeal, Bass said she uncharacteristically cheated on an art history test — then was so racked with guilt that she confessed to Windsor. Bullying intensified after she returned from a three-day suspension.
"(Her) emotional stress and anxiety became overwhelming," the suit said.
The lawsuit said the school and Windsor inflicted long-term damage on Bass' academic career by notifying at least one college about the suspension without giving her a chance to offer her side. The expulsion threat soon followed for her "unexcused absences" when she tried to complete her studies off-campus, a violation of school rules not detailed in the lawsuit.
A degree from Miss Porter's is considered a ticket into the Ivy League and a future potentially filled with wealth and privilege.
Like Bass — from Beaufort, S.C. — two-thirds of about 330 students at Miss Porter's this year are boarders from 22 states and 20 countries. The school's annual tuition is nearly $43,000 for boarding students and about $33,000 for "day students" who live within driving distance of the Farmington campus, about 10 miles west of Hartford.
Now, Bass' status at the school is unclear. The lawsuit asks a judge for an injunction barring Miss Porter's from sharing her academic status with colleges to which she has applied. It also asks for unspecified damages and reinstatement in good standing so she can graduate.

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